


For Fear Is No Longer

by Azar443



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 08:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11272194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azar443/pseuds/Azar443
Summary: "I love you." "Take it back."





	For Fear Is No Longer

There are many things Percival is prepared for in his line of work. Death is one of them, grievous bodily harm and torture are another two. Since finding his home in the soft, awkwardness of Newt, he’s steeled himself for when Newt decides to end their relationship. Every time there’s a note from the red head, or when Newt mysteriously asks him out for meals, he mentally prepares himself for the quiet let down and the disappointment that always tails behind the words of “you’re not good enough.” He wakes up each day staring at his scarred body in the mirror and runs a mental catalogue of all the scars he can think of. There’s the Deathly Hallows sign burned into his neck and a bite mark on his shoulder Grindelwald left that won’t ever fade (he doesn’t like thinking of that one, hates the feeling of the dark wizard deep within him as he took the last bit Percival had of himself). There’s a bruise on his hip from when he bumped into the corner of his desk the other day, and a long gash crossed diagonally over his stomach, and there’s a small cut behind his ear that he got as a child. He wonders why Newt, freckled face, gentle, innocent Newt, would want to stay with him, and he thinks there’s only so much time before he’s alone again.

Anyway, it’s a fairly normal day at work. Other than the fact that all the enchanted mice decide to congregate in his office, which gives Percival quite the shock when he strolls in, coffee in hand and ready for yet another bone-crushing day at work. It’s a good half an hour before they manage to contain and remove the mice, and when his office is finally mice free, he sinks into his chair and starts reading the first report on his chair. But Goldstein bursts through the doors, and Percival hasn’t had the chance to tell her off ( _You’re paying for the door if it breaks, Goldstein_ ) when the pale faced witch tells him Newt’s been badly hurt. He stands and whirls out of the office, wordlessly demanding to know what’s happened and where Newt is now. Half of his mind is trained on Tina’s breathless explanation, that Newt was hurt when some smugglers found out he was rescuing creatures that were to be put up for sale at the black market. The other half of his mind is filled with a repeated mantra, one that spurs him to move faster, “ _Gods please let him live. Let him not die. Please let him live.”_

The wizarding hospital Newt is taken to bustles with activity, but Percival sees only the path forward to Newt, because he’s the only thing that matters. He’s all swirling black coat and thunderous expression, and anger and authority radiate off him like a scent, curling about his skin and person. The nurses give them no further grief, something he’s grateful for, and they’re directed to Newt’s room. They’re told that the Healers are doing everything they can for Newt, and they’ll be allowed to visit as soon as he’s in recovery. Tina, white faced and frightened and tense, has her hands gripped tightly in front of her and Percival’s knuckles are tightly curled into fists he wish he could sink in the walls before him. They speak nary a word between them; what is there to say really? _I hope he doesn’t die? I’m sorry the man you love is going to die?_

An hour ticks by, and Percival coaxes her to return to the office with instructions in his absence. She’s reluctant, and even though she can’t do anything to help, she thinks she should still be there, but Percival is firm, though kind, in his orders and she’s inwardly grateful too because she can’t imagine being the one waiting while the person she loves fights for their life. She leaves, and Percival is a lone figure sitting hunched over in the waiting room, waiting for a life that’s more precious than his.

He falls asleep at some point, and there are soft hands shaking him awake. There’s a Healer smiling gently at him, and the words “ _he’s all right_ ” are far more beautiful than any poetry he’s read, or any prayer he’s heard. His feet carry him into the room Newt is in, and his red hair contrasts starkly with the white sheets he’s wrapped in, and there are cuts on his face and his arm is in a cast, but he’s alive. Percival sinks into the chair next to the bed, and taking Newt’s limp hand that’s so cold in his, kisses his skin and prays to whatever gods that are out there, that _thank you_ for bringing him back to me, for giving me a little more time with him. Newt’s fingers give a twitch, and he’s not awake but Percival likes to think Newt’s aware of his presence, so he talks. His voice is low and barely audible, telling Newt everything he thinks about him, about how he thinks their relationship and Newt are the best things that have ever happened to him. He talks about everything and anything, and it’s ok if Newt doesn’t wake up now, because when he does, Percival will be the first thing he sees.

* * *

Visiting hours are nearly over, but Percival convinces the matron to let him stay on longer, and his back aches and he’s not eaten anything yet. Glancing at the still man, he stretches and decides to get some coffee and dinner. He lays the softest of kisses upon Newt’s forehead, and whispers, so very naturally he thinks nothing of it, the quiet, sacred words of “I love you”. He makes to leave the room, when a hand stops him, and he freezes. Percival turns to see a weakly smiling Newt who beckons him over for a kiss, and they savour the feeling of each other before they break apart, silly smiles on their faces. Newt frowns suddenly, and Percival is terrified because is he in pain? Does he need anything? What’s wrong? But there’s a small pout on Newt’s soft lips which placates him a little, and Newt whispers hoarsely, “Take it back.” There’s a moment where Percival thinks his heart stops because Newt just told him to take saying “I love you” back, and his eyes fall and his shoulders sag because telling Newt he loves him is a mistake.

Percival mumbles a quiet sorry and backs away, but Newt’s grasp on him is firm. He pulls the Auror close to him, and there’s but an inch that separates their faces. He cups Percival’s face with his hands, and his breath is soft and warm as he whispers, “I said take it back, because I was going to say it first.” And the laughter that escapes Percival is loud and joyous and when he steals a kiss from his love, it feels like the warm rays of sun after the clouds have parted, and for the first time ever, Percival isn’t afraid.


End file.
